by Sowjanya M

We live in India, in our regional languages most of the time speaking in the singular form to elders is considered as bad manners and speaking only in the plural to elders is acceptable.

However, there are other ways too, though somebody is speaking in the singular to others be it friends, parents, elders, strangers, and acquaintances it can definitely be respectful, of course with kind words and gestures.

Due to the pandemic, many people got used to early morning street walking and exercising as parks were closed.

Every morning an elderly person and many others come to the ground that is there in front of our house to walk and exercise.

Recently a person, who is apparently a senior citizen visited us and was playing with the kid on the balcony and looking towards the ground the kid started shouting happily “Thatha bandru waaalka maadthidare, uncle bandru odthidaare, thatha hands heege up heege down maadthidhare”, for this kid it was an everyday affair. However, this elderly person spoke loosely about that stranger saying “hotte karagsakke bandidane” etc…

After some time, when all were watching a show, the kid said “uncle bandru”, and this elderly person spoke loosely about that host “boda banda koodle illa nodu”(Meaning-yay that bald head man came and he has no hair), and continued “heeganthane…, haanganthane”.

The kid kept wondering how to address that uncle and the grandpa. Though the kid does not interact with the people who come for walking and the person in the TV show, the kid always spoke respectfully- not using singular but that day the kid was perplexed and wondered about how this person spoke about them.

I sat back and pondered for a while whether I decided to write this because someone spoke ill about a particular person for whom I have the greatest regards but no. I feel if kids are bullies in future, disrespectful about others and especially elders and strangers, irresponsible about their actions, the biggest part of contribution directly or indirectly will be the home, the root cause could be parents themselves being this way, grandparents or the caregivers of the child at home talking loosely about others in front of kids and it’s all about passing on.

Ever since childhood kids should be taught to be respectful, compassionate, and caring towards others as well as responsible for their actions.

We never know what a stranger might be going through or who that is true and one must not stand in a portico and pass comments be it about appearance etc. Kids should be taught to respect others and be kind and also taught how not to tolerate and keep adjusting if it is not reciprocated. It will be fun when someone mocks at another person and laughs for a while but will this person be able to tolerate and handle if the same mockery is redirected to them or spoken ill behind their back?

Sometimes, the family members-parents, grandparents, etc… The caregivers of the child at home will pass all the knowledge of all forms to the small curious child including the hatred for other people, enmity, grudge, and their vain egoistic nature.

Should we not stop and think about what exactly we are passing on to the next generation?

Somewhere deep in the heart we may want everything to be normal and all the hatred/enmity we have with friends/relatives to be fixed and want that relationship to be revived and not be fake anymore but this attitude of passing on grudge about others will change nothing but you are somewhere creating a part of your replica in that still growing curious mind of the little one.

Upbringing is hard, choosing something for a kid is hard but teaching, preaching, and sharing good things to be learned will be such a great asset to a child, it’s always not about money, status, and luxury it is also about being kind, well mannered, well-being, respectful and not being hurtful to others.

About the Author:

Sowjanya M is a software tester by profession and lives in Bengaluru. She is passionate about writing and her penchant for writing has helped voice her opinions by writing blogs on various topics and views on her blog site.