by Vivek Kumar

My name is “Levi Alexander” a stupid, stubborn man..

I am a man who lost everything, I wasn’t a good son

6 November 2019..

It’s time, I threw out everything I had in my life.

10 November 2019..

It’s time, I realized what I’ve been missing.

10 November 2019..

The time when I went to find the one that I had lost from my life because he mattered so much to me.

20 November 2019..

The time when I come to the treasure and start talking to it.

21 November 2019..

This was the time, when I lost everything in my life.

I was born on October 1, 2000, but my mother was killed while giving birth to me.

My mother didn’t even see me properly and didn’t even name me, as she dies there, my father took care of me after my mother died. He performed every duty that a mother would perform, he was my father as well as my mother.

He used to spend a good time with me in my childhood, he used to do every nice thing with me which made me happy.

He brought me everything I asked him, he never let me feel alone or sad. I never felt the absence of my mother, because of her again a time came in when a person’s mind starts to deteriorate.

16 June 2014..

“Teenage”, is such an age in which the child can go on any platform,

My mind started going on the wrong track, I started hanging out with people I didn’t want to hang out with. But at that age I could not understand anything very well.

I didn’t know what was happening to me, I started talking to my father in Rudely Behaviour don’t know why?

I started fighting with my father over small things, don’t know why? I really did not understand what was happening to me.

My dad never got angry because of fighting with him, he used to try to talk to me the very next day. But I never used to talk to him even when I used to fight with him.

6 November 2019..

I was 19 years old and came home, I saw my dad sitting on the couch. My dad was sitting on the couch looking at the door, he was waiting for me, He stands up as soon as I come in and then he called me to him, I go to him And then my dad asked me,

“You wanna do some dad-son special party tonight”?

“Not again, dad.. how many times I have told you that I am not interested in this party now.”

“But, when you were a kid you always used to organise this.”

 

“The time you are talking about has passed.”

 

“What is happening to you”?

I  replied him, “Dad. why do you keep asking that question again and again”?

“Then give me the answer, I will never ask you this question again.”

“OK! Then listen, I don’t like you now.. I find you annoying, Your voice pricks my ears every time you call me.”

“So you don’t like my voice and me too. What should I do to get you back”?

“Nothing, don’t do anything, and keep silence forever.”

“How did you become like this”?

“I was always like this, I just didn’t have a brain at that time, but now I have.”

“You want me to, keep silence forever”?

“Right..”

“You have girlfriend”?

“Of course I have… Got problem”?

“No.. You have grown up now, you can handle your life well, I have no problem.”

“So, what should I do now.. means do want me to leave this house”?

“You are right.”

“Fine.. if my son wants to then, I will do it.”

My dad had left his own house.

7 November 2019,

I was sitting at my house with my girlfriend, “Eva Brown.” We both were sitting on the couch and we kissed each other and then Eva went to her house. We both came very close, there was even talk of marriage between us. That by my bad luck, No..  By good luck, I came to know about Eva at the right time..

Eva had a relationship with 5 boys, she was Gold Digger.. I didn’t do bad things to my dad because of Eva, rather, they were some of my friend, whom I cannot even call friends.

After knowing about Eva, I was sad because I really loved her. I used to lie on my bed alone in my room all the time at my house and keep looking at the fan.

8 November 2019.

I smoked and drank alcohol for the first time in my life. I used to feel lightheaded from that alcohol and smoke and my dad was also not at home, I got rid of his voice, It was quiet in the house, and I was always at home in the dark, just drinking and smoking cigarettes.

9 November 2019.

I had come out of the house to buy more liquor, in an inebriated state.. I was going to the liquor store, falling here and there on the road. It was raining at that time, I fell on the road and the bottle of alcohol in my hand fell down and broke. I was in the middle of the road, when I woke up in the morning I saw that I was lying at my house.

In front of my eyes, Eva was sitting and she was happy to see me regaining consciousness.

I said her to leave from here, but she was not getting ready not to leave my house. She wanted to say something to me but I was disappointed by her and then I hold her hand and forcefully send her out, I close the door and go to my room, She started telling me from outside the door, “Whatever you heard was not true.. I am being maligned, I am not such a girl. Whoever told you this had purposed me earlier but I didn’t love him, I love only you. Trust me, Levi! The one you trust is a cheater.. He just spoils people’s relationships and nothing else.. He has no understanding of relationships, whatever he said was all a lie. Believe me Levi!”

I go to the door hearing this and started talking to her, “you are saying that Andrew is a liar”?

“Yes he is! Believe me! He is a liar. He always finds someone, So that he can ruin anyone’s relationship.. And see he tried to ruin our relationship too. But our relationship is not so weak, that anyone can break it.”

I immediately open the door and then Eva hugs me and she starts crying, I hug her too, and apologize to her for what I did.

10 November 2019.

The moment, I released myself that I had done wrong to my dad, I was angry at myself. That’s why I was hurting myself, I kept punching the wall. Eva stopped me from doing this and then told me, “You know you are lucky that you have your father, look at me.. I had no one, From childhood till today, I have grown up without the love of my parents. I always wanted to know how it feels to get the love of a father and mother? but it was impossible. At least you had your father, but you fought with him and threw him out. You really didn’t do it right, it was really not right.”

“I was deluded. When I spoke rudely to my father for the first time. When I was 14 years old and at the same time I also met Andrew. Andrew told me such a thing that I started hating my father, as I grew up, In the same way, the hatred inside me also increased.

I could not understand why I was hating? Why am I removing him? do not know why? His voice used to make me feel relaxed, but ever since I met Andrew, my father’s voice started irritating me, don’t know why. Andrew seduced me in such a way that the hate inside me just kept growing and growing and growing.. My father used to forget all my mistakes. But I just kept making that mistake every time. Fighting with him all the time, not talking well, not staying with him, not sharing good things with him, not obeying him, I used to do nothing. everything was forgotten to me, after all how he had brought me up without my mother, he had suffered so much trouble just for me. And I fool, could never understand him and never thanked him, I, forget that in the future I too will become a father and, How would I feel when my own child would do this to me?

I have failed at being a good son.”

“I’ve got to hurry, I’ll get my dad back, and I will apologize to him for whatever I have done to him. I know, I do not deserve forgiveness but I will still apologize to my dad.”

10 November 2019..

I left my house with Eva to find my dad, I was asking people with my dad’s photo on my phone but it was of no use. My dad had left his home long ago, and till now those who have seen him must have forgotten him.

I was trying my best to find my dad, but I was not getting any information about dad. No matter what I tried, I could not find anything about my dad.

15 November 2019..

I went to his villages in search of my father and inquired about him but could not find any information about him.

I was searching for him and when I came to my grandmother’s house while searching, my grandmother also scolded me, and I deserve that. My father was not even there, I was getting scared, I was getting very scared because of the last message that was shared with my father.

20 November 2019..

I came to know about my dad, and as soon as I came to know about my dad, I started running to him, Eva and I were going to my dad’s. I was scared, and I didn’t have the courage to stand up to my dad, But there was also happiness and eagerness too.

21 November 2019..

I was near my dad, my dad was in the hospital.. my heart was not stopping, it was going too fast..

My dad was lying on the hospital bed, he had a head injury, I was going to him slowly I hold his hand. He was looking at me and asked me, “Who am I”?

“Your stupid son.”

“Stupid son, but I haven’t any stupid son”?

My dad had lost his memory, when he left home, he was going to his village but he had an accident there and since then he was in the hospital. The doctor told me about this when he found a childhood photo of me and my dad in my dad’s purse. The doctor had informed me, so long because my father’s phone was broken and the doctor got it fixed and informed me by calling my number.

“It’s true, I am your own stupid son.”

“I don’t have a stupid son. Why are you not understanding, you must have really made a mistake.”

“No, I am telling the truth, I am your only stupid son, who asked you to leave the house, I am the biggest stupid of this world, In which I drove my own father out while you did so many things for my happiness but still what did I give you? Nothing. Just despair.. I don’t know whether you will forgive me or not, but I sincerely apologize to you, Till now, I apologize from the bottom of my heart for all the fights I have fought with you and for all the rude things I have talked about. It is your decision whether you forgive me or not, but you can punish me with whatever you want, and I will accept it.. I your stupid son will do whatever you want.”

“Stop it, My son wasn’t stupid.. My son was just innocent. that’s why he used to talk to anyone easily, if seen, it was my fault. If I had made my son a little smarter, I would not have seen the day my son would apologize to me. Levi,”

“Forgiveness is given to someone who is a stranger and has committed a mistake. You are my own, and your mistake was no mistake to me.”

“Wait.. you got your memory”?

“When did I lose my memory”?

“But. But the doctor told me that you have lost your memory.”

“I only told him to say this, I just wanted to know one last time, what my son really thinks about me. And look, I found out. And I am very happy to know this.”

“What did you just say? Last time? What does that mean”?

“I am going to die.”

“What? Don’t say this.. this scares me. Never say this again, Never!”

“Sorry Levi, but this is true.. I am going to die, Now there is no use in hiding this thing from you.”

My voice was shivering..

“A.. are.. are you.. are you really going to die.”

“Yes my son, I’ll be dead in 3 hours.”

“This is not true.. this can’t be true.. you are joking right, it joke, its a joke, right? Dad? It’s a joke, isn’t it.”

“It’s true.. accept it, Levi.. I am really going to die.”

“DON’T SAY THIS AGAIN AND AGAIN! I DONT WANT TO LOSE YOU! DONT SAY THIS AGAIN! PLEASE!!”

“Levi..”

“Dad… Please, don’t go, I don’t want to lose you, I really want you to stay with us till my death. I can’t see you as dead.. please don’t die, dad. Please, don’t die.”  Levi said while sobbing.

“It’s my luck, Levi.. I can’t deny the death.. it’s a rule of nature.”

“I don’t care about nature, I just want you to stay alive.”

“It’s not possible.”

“Hey! Doctor.. do something, please.. please save my dad.. please, my dad is going to die… please save him,” I begged the god.

“It’s really not possible. Your Dad’s heart is dying slowly. It will stop working in 3 hours, and now no doctor can save him.” God said to me.

“Dad… I am sorry.. I am really, really, really, sorry,  for being so mean in the past few days, I am truly sorry.”

“It’s okay, Levi..”

“No, it’s not okay.. it really not.. I have never been able to be a good son, I have never been able to give my dad the happiness that my dad gave me every time.”

“Don’t say this again Levi.. you are my best and loving son..”

“I love you, dad, I love you..”

“Love you infinity.. Levi.”

“You still remember this..”

“How can I forget this, This is unforgettable.”

“Yeah, you are right.”

“Now Levi, stop crying now.. So when are you introducing me to your girlfriend.. Did you purpose her”?

I call Eva and then introduce her to my dad, we all talked for a long time, Everyone was laughing, and only then did my dad’s condition starts deteriorating and the doctor comes inside and starts checking my dad. My dad’s condition was getting better little by little, but still, my dad’s heart rate was still falling down.

After the doctor’s treatment, He came outside and told me, “Now my father has very less minutes now, you can stay with your dad.”

Me and Eva both go inside and then I carry my dad in a weak condition on the hospital bed.

With his heart rate slowing down on a cardiac monitor, and an oxygen mask over his mouth, my heart was pounding with fear and tension. I was not feeling well, my heart started beating fast, and I could not see my dad in that condition. I could not even move my steps toward him, my eyes started closing.. my body was going loose. Eva holds my hand and then gives me that courage and I start to calm down a bit. I was growing up next to my dad and my dad’s closed eyes made me feel sad. Tears were coming from my eyes, I was holding my dad’s hand, and my dad was holding my hand tightly. They also didn’t want to leave me. He started regaining consciousness and then he looks at me and I see that there were tears in his eyes.

My dad holds my hand and kissed me hand and said, “Levi, I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I didn’t get to spend more time with you. I’m sorry, I can’t be with you anymore. Forgive me, forgive me, Forgive me, please forgive me..”

“Don’t say this dad.. don’t say this, please. It’s not your fault.. its mine, I am the one who didn’t spend time with you.. its all my fault. Forgive me. Please, forgive me. I told you last time that I like your voice. It’s not like that.. I want to hear your voice. I want to hear your voice every time, I don’t want you to be silent, you are not annoying, your voice is best and you are the best dad, You are the Best!”

My father died.. No.. My life died..

For me, my father was everything, my life too, I am alive and here it’s just because of my father.. my father is the one who gave me this precious life

I was broken inside, but I had my life partner was with me to support me.

I didn’t know what was going on around me, I was just going through what I had done at the moment

I regain consciousness and then I stand up and told Eva, “I will come in a while, I have some work.”

“But.. where are you going”?

“Don’t worry, I am not going to die.”

I left the house and came to Andrew, I came and stood near Andrew. Andrew talks to me, “So your dad left home, anyway all the dads are worst.”

I punch Andrew in the face and knock him down, Andrew gets up and punches me, and the fight goes on.

Both were hitting each other one by one, blood started coming from both of their noses, I was not getting tired, I was not stopping,  My father’s dead face kept appearing in front of my eyes. There was a rage inside me, a rage that was for head Andrew,

“Bring back my dad!”

“What are you saying”?

“I said, bring back my dad back!”

“bring my life back, my dad was life. Bring my dad back!”

I was continuously beating Andrew and asking him to “bring my dad back”, Andrew was badly hurt,  I was about to hit a rod on Andrew’s head but Eva stops me and Andrew ran away.

“Stop it, Levi.. stop it.. let him go, let him go.. he doesn’t anything about you. He doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings, let him go..” Eva said while sobbing.

I was crying and then she hugged me and we started going home.

“Let’s go.. to our dad’s home.. I am sorry again, dad. I am sorry. I am truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly sorry.”

 

About the Author:

 Vivek Kumar is an experienced Fiction writer, he is writing fiction stories since he was 15 years old. He is studying in college, I am preparing for BA, his skills are Creative writing, Critical thinking, story Management, Leadership, and Decision taking.