By Shobha Diwakar
There often comes a challenge in life when you stand at crossroads wondering which road to take, which reminds me of Robert Frost’s very apt poem, The Road Not Taken. Many times, you are confused and your mind seems to block your personal responses to a certain problem of which you may or may not be aware but faces you harshly like a ripple in the sea, or a whirlpool that can drag and drown you forever without leaving any traces of your once being alive. You just simply disappear into the deep, deep, depths of no return.
Sometimes you do things unexpectedly in a frantic mood, especially when you make someone else’s problem your very own and try to react albeit, in a positive manner to put things in the right order, it is then that things misfire. The ripples keep rippling into your very being until you dive into the forbidden zone of indulging into some fanciful idea or ideas that instead of upholding you shunt you backwards into no man’s land. Believe me, human relationships are the most delicate of all humanly created fabrics that can shred you to pieces in a moment.
The relationship can be between husband and wife, your parents, brothers and sisters, or your so called near and dear relatives and friends or colleagues. Just as a whiff of a wind can topple your pots so also a whiff of the wind can topple relationships. It is like a fragile piece of glass that once broken shatters to pieces. How does this happen?
Sometimes you get too much involved in others personal life and take it for granted that no one will mind. Yet, this is not so. Maybe this someone is none other than your own grown up child. You may think that what you are doing is in the welfare of all connected with you in your life but somewhere the link is broken because unintentionally you have crossed the border, the link that had kept you attached.
Misunderstandings can ruin your life. The thread of hope, honesty and trust once built crashes harshly down within the fraction of a moment like a pack of cards; and washes away the sand castle you built only because you overlooked the trap and were caught like a mouse with bait. Silly things are the most frequent of all such trivial bubbles that can rock your life unawares; by the time you realize, you have already fallen into the ditch of nonentity. Such trite but distressing, irksome baubles can cause unnecessary disconcert and ruffle in your otherwise principled life.
Many a times these misunderstandings dig your own grave. Of course, no one has tasted or gobbled nectar that will make you immortal. I think all of you remember the ancient myth of Lord Shiva drinking poison to save humanity, which makes his neck blue; mortals are not dressed in the same fashion. Verbal poison can distort thoughts, feelings, and relationships until the end of your days because of expanded egos; they may be your own far and near ones, your own kith and kin whom you have cherished all your life,
So be careful how you use
Your tongue and pen
Your words and thoughts don’t let display
Time is not the same as before
Your children have outgrown, they say
No longer do they skip and run
Around you as before
So be careful how you treat them
For no longer they are young you know.
You are no one to decide for them
No one to drill or guide
For once, the birds have left their nest
Their life, they do better know.
Your advices go around the bend
Your hurts they do not matter
Times have changed my friends you know
The birds have flown their nests
Your kids no longer are the same
For they have outgrown you know.
Their journey up and down the ladder
Pushes them forward so
Don’t mind the bricks and bats you get
Sometimes or evermore
You may be old it matters not
Your heart no one can see
It may cry for days untold
Times have changed you see.
Times have changed my friends you know
Your child has grown up too
You cannot see eye to eye
For times have changed you see.
As up the ladder of life you climb
Distances freeze the breeze
Your love grows old your cares are too many
The heartaches bear you down
For life for all is not the same
It’s not a merry go round
So up about your life you wield
Drown sorrows and despair
Don’t think too much
Lest you break your heart
Take all things in your stride.
You did your job you raised your kids
You showed them right and wrong
If now they think otherwise
It’s not their fault, your frictions realize
For times have changed dear friends you know
For better or for worse
So
Take things as they come your way
For times have changed you know.
Don’t lose your pride
Don’t lose your stride
Don’t sit back and cry
The generation gap is widening dear
For times have changed you know
About the Author: Dr. Shobha Diwakar lives in Jabalpur, India and retired as the head of English department at C.P. Mahila Mahavidhyalaya, Jabalpur. She has published many research papers, stories, poems and essays in national, international and online journals. She contributes regularly to writerslifeline and Indian Periodical. Dr Diwakar servers on the Advisory Board of www.writerslifeline.ca and editorial board of CLRI (contemporary literary journal India) for poetry and short story section.
A detailed write-up on:
‘ Understanding vs.Misunderstanding ‘ by Shobha Diwakar.
Quite often a well-meant understanding is horribly mistaken for a misunderstanding, for perceptions differ from person to person.
What we are today may not reflect how our forefathers lived their way.
And our children relish not what we express with all of good intentions – generation gap must be the real culprit!
Human relationship is not easy to handle as you conclude.
Better not to interfere in others’ life, no matter they are relatives or friends.
There’s a limit to everything and we must be conscious of the ensuing breaking -point in our dealings with people.
An enduring relationship is possible if we learn to take our life the way it proceeds without allowing our ego to play its part,and to make it a point to live without making complaints whatever.
After all, we have come from nothing and will leave to nothing ;
Sandwiched between the two we need to be over-cautious if at all we like our life to be friction -free!
very interesting article.it has explained the reality of life in a very realistic way particularly how little things which are not important to us can cause havoc in our life therefore it is very important to understand what is important to us in life and care for it.poem has explain it beautifully too. Dr Diwaker is a wonderful writer and i wish her all the best
The write -up on Understanding vs.Misunderstanding is a nice read.
Often times, well-meant understanding is misconstrued as misunderstanding, thanks to perceptions that differs from person to person!
Everyone is unique that one cannot be like another.
In general, our children relish not what we express with all of good intentions -must be generation gap the real culprit!
Human relationship is hard to handle and as you said it’s capable of breaking into pieces at the slightest provocation!
We are not patient enough to restrain ourselves to maintain relationship to the exclusion of frictions.
Taking our life the way it proceeds, never allowing our ego to interfere in our dealings, and our non-complaining nature alone can ensure an enduring relationship to the end.
After all we have come from nothing and will leave to nothing.
We being sandwiched between the two, must exercise extra caution to see understanding as it should be!
thank you Mr Sivagnanam & Ms Asha Naik for your very clear perception and understanding of the issue
spontaneous reactions can ignite people to a breaking point the classic understanding on a discord is ‘Fingers on Your Lips”