Memory Mistaken

I fear

That you have forgotten the memory of when you first met me

A sunflower, waiting for the sun to bloom

Golden nectar shining through the half-closed petals

Still enough to light up the whole room


I fear

That when you next meet me you won’t find me the same

That the world will have chipped me away

The best parts of me would have come to naught

And the worst parts become my mainstay


I fear

Losing my youth not so much, for who enjoys everlasting bliss

I fear that jealousy, my fatal flaw will drive me insane

That I will be apprehensive of not only my enemies’ success

But like a snake, my friends’ achievements will cause me pain


I fear

That after damaging encounters with unprincipled individuals

I will forget kindness, which I was born into and known for in the land

That my heart will turn a dark, muddy purple

The redness of its purity gone, now no longer grand


I fear

That the promise you saw in the sparkle of my eyes

Will have long vanished into dust

That you find a walking corpse, disillusioned, devoid of ambition

Living life because she must


I fear

Not your rejection, I fear that you will

Pass me on the road, you on your noble steed

You will glance at me, raise your eyebrows

But ride on, not even recognizing the sunflower-turned weed

~Isha Samant

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