I saw you in my dreamYou didn’t talk to me, is this some rule of heaven?You forgotmy birthday Ma, I turned eleven.My head feels dizzy, short of breathOne moment you were here and then just left? You said you loved me then why did you leave?Left me alone in this enormous world, for all to grieve.Whom do I hug now? Whom do I talk with?Love greater than that of a mother, is truly a myth.I wanted to hug you when I saw you last nightEvery time I tried, you went out of my sight.Ma why did you do that, you know I don’t like to hide nor to seek,I know your compulsions, I saw the tear on your cheek. Ma please kiss my forehead, ask them guards to allow,The pain is intolerable, only you can save me nowI know I vexed you incessantly, all the timeYet you loved me more than the sun could ever shine.You held me tight the entire night, in the morning you just left,Nothing is fair, especially the thin curtain between life and death. Ma I sleep on an empty stomach, keeping a plate aside,Believing maybe by this way you will come to this side,You will chastise, I am even ready for a slap,But you never came Ma, I believe you didn’t have the map.Only if you knew the road to this world,I might have been crying in your lap all curled.Would never let you go, no matter what,Wouldn’t let you speak, no if no but. Why in my dreams, you always turn a blind eye to me?Were you tired of me and is that why you flee?But you loved me, no? Yes, you did.The love, the affection, the care, all vivid.Maybe the guards of heaven won’t let you out,oh! I guess this is what it’s all about. I will wait Ma, for you to be herebecause more than the darkness, is the world without you that I fear.
~Alka Rani
Patna, India