I know not what to feel!
Lately, I’ve just been feeling like the last wheel-
No chores, no load
Is it just me or the mind through an redundant road?
I sometimes, gaze at the mirror so blankly –
Reckoning about worldly desires;
And when thoughts appear,
I mind-numbingly blink –
To glance at those spaces, where all pain resides.
Breathing feels, of a second choice-
Yet again, this void makes it unable to breathe
Perchance, engulfs me more being dead than alive.
Shall I voice out…. Or not?
Fear of abandonment senses as if throat is slit.
Tears fell, & have dried, in this frail cage-
In soothe, I desire to be anew-
Though I know not how to….
When everything in me has entanglements this vast!
Am I at fault here, or only misjudged…
Why it feels like the cone holding the craved ice-cream fudge?
Is all what’s piercing me, an illusion or vision?
Should I absorb this fate or wake from this slumber?
Although, sometimes revolts are worse…
With no more remorse, shall I still be myself?
Oh! Vain debate- It’s been long I’ve passed that course.
Yet a flame to perceive mineself someday-
& trace striving clarity, of peace amid barbed wires
Or maybe with silence, I’ll finally be standing,
Until then I’ll be just this self towards life!
Cause’ this boat has been selfless, in pain, & in peril-
When ignorant was I, to all beautiful wretchedness
This Soul of me, all quiet and bold
Has been faithful in beholding the truth amid dark!
& another step, shall take me doors apart-
So for all luxury in the world, the Divine won’t be sold!
~Debadrita Dey
Siliguri, India
Lovely!
Such a heart touching poem!
I’m completely totally proud of you
Eagerly waiting for the next one!
I love you, keep rocking Bestie <3
She is just awesome 😻