by Maliha Iqbal

“Doctor, do you have any violent patients?”
“Yes, I do. Some of them are very violent.”
“Was Mair violent?”
“Er…well, I would say no.”
“Did he ever hurt someone without any particular reason?”

The doctor was looking very uncomfortable now.
“As a matter of fact, he did. Only once though. Ms. Miran usually comes to visit her brother on Sundays. She was very busy so she sent someone else in her place, Anderson Harris. Mair attempted to hurt him.”
“Did he actually get hurt?”
A short meaningful silence.

“Yes…er….he was also in hospital for a day.”
That was it! She had almost scored. Viaan was frowning.

“So what you basically mean to say is that although Mair Miran did act pretty normal most of the time but still, because of him someone was hospitalized? He did all this without any proper reason too.”

Nadia started with her next round of questioning.

“You said that Mair told you that he flushed away his medicines. Did you ever actually see him do that?”

“No.”

“So you mean that you never actually saw him throw away his medicines. You are relying entirely on his word, the word of a person in a mental hospital.”

Dr. Abed looked uncomfortable. Nadia remained calm although she was laughing with joy inside.

“Thank you for your time.”
The case moved on. Andy was always present at every hearing. In fact, Andy seemed to be all over the place. He worked till very late at night to please Maya and went to the office earlier than anyone. He cooked lunch, dinner, and breakfast for himself and Maya so that she wouldn’t have to do a single thing. There was such an eerie paleness about him but he refused to see the doctor. He still blamed himself for everything although Maya had assured him that everything was alright and that he had only meant to help.

***

Sammy was sick with worry. Everything down the drain. They were losing. Surprisingly, Maya hadn’t kicked him out of the company yet. Nearly all his salary was going into this case. He wasn’t much worried about the money but his real worry was for Mair. What would happen to him?

He sat down to read something just as Mair came down the stairs.

“I am sorry.”
“What for?”
“All your money is being used up in the case and we are also losing.”

Sammy had to laugh. Mair was such a gentle, lovable person that you couldn’t even get angry with him.

“Any idea how we can win this case?”

“Actually, I do have one.”

***

Sammy knew it was a crazy idea the moment he heard it but he found himself agreeing to try it out. Hell, we are already the losers. What have I got to lose? He stood in front of Andy’s little office. It may have been little but far too luxurious. I must be mad? What am I doing here? He knocked once and was about to run when the door opened.

Andy stood staring at him for a moment. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He has the nerve to see me after what he did? Sammy was no longer pretending to be the little schoolboy. He was just being Sammy, Andy’s friend.

“Get out!”
“At least listen to….”
“I told you to go.”

“Please!”

Sammy ducked into Andy’s office. He knew it was madness but it was the last chance, his only chance. Andy was enraged. How did he even dare to see him? Behaving like this was the limit.

Andy was looking so angry that Sammy automatically backed off. This was their first confrontation after the whole arrest and case.

“Andy please give me one chance to speak. I will go away as soon as I have spoken.”

“Speak.” He could see that Sammy really was afraid.

Sammy decided to come straight to the point.

“Look, Maya sent you to kill Mair. Andy, please see it reasonably. How can you ever call it mercy-killing? We are losing the case and you are our only hope. Don’t say no. We need you as a witness. Please. Just speak about it in court. Don’t say no. We were such good friends. I miss you. We know so much about each other. I even told you about my past. Andy, please. Don’t you miss me? Mair, you and I could be such good friends but first, you will have to leave Maya. I don’t need you as only a witness. I need you as a friend too.”

As an afterthought, he quickly added,

“We are all brothers. We men understand each other. Please.”

He wasn’t aware of the impact the statement had on Andy.

“Son, I want you to be a man. Strong and powerful.”

“Man” The word kept ringing in his mind. Men understood each other. Father wanted me to be a man. “Man”.

Would his father never leave him? He was pursued by him wherever he went. At every corner of his life. It was as though he couldn’t make a decision if his father wasn’t there. Once again he was beckoning Andy towards the wrong direction or was it the right direction? Once again he was asked to choose if he wanted to be a man or a brother.

Andy was close to tears. He was feeling dizzy with frustration.

He was shaking as he looked at Sammy who started for the door.

***

Another court hearing. Nadia was the best lawyer Maya had seen and she was sure that everything would work out smoothly. Then they could get back on track. Now her priority would be Sammy and Mair.

Viaan was speaking in his furious manner.

“And now I would like to call Mr. Anderson Harris as a witness.”

Maya thought that she had misheard. For the first time since the beginning of the trial she lost her calm and composed look and strained her neck to see Andy walk up to the witness box. What was he doing there? She tried to hide her surprise but it was impossible. She gave Nadia a meaningful look which made her understand that Mr. Harris could create trouble.

He was sworn in. Viaan looked very pleased with himself while Andy looked pale and ill.

“Mr. Harris, what is your job?”
“I am Maya Miran’s personnel assistant in Basswood Ltd.”

“Do you know Mair Miran?”

“Yes, we met when he was at the mental asylum.”

“Why did you visit ‘We Care’?”

“I went there to kill him or ‘relieve him of his pain and sufferings’ as Maya called it.”
The courtroom burst with excited chatter. Everybody began talking at once. Many heads turned to look at Maya but she had resumed her calm and cool demeanor after her initial surprise. It was as though she was sitting under a blanket of invisibility.

Her head was hurting a lot. It may burst any moment. She had the incredible urge to laugh at this thought. The world was spinning and Andy, the most faithful person who had betrayed her was talking away, answering every question. She hoped that he would drop dead there and then. She was biting her tongue because her eyes stung so much that she wanted to shut them. She was not going to give them the pleasure of seeing her weaken.

“Why did you agree to murder him?”
“I was young and naïve. She was my benefactor and she treated me like her little brother, doing everything that I wanted. I really thought that I had found a loving sister. I was surprised when she asked me to kill her brother but I was so completely charmed by her that I forgot what was right and what was wrong. I allowed Mair to defend himself- that’s the only reason why I ended up in the hospital. Otherwise Mair could never have hurt me.”

“That was the time when you were hospitalized?”

“Yes.”

“That means that Mair did have a very appropriate reason to hurt you. He was just defending himself.”

“Yes.”

“Thank you, Mr. Harris.” He turned to address the judge,

“Ms. Miran was clever enough to realize that she couldn’t pick and pay someone from the street to kill Mair. It would look too suspicious. People would ask. Why was he killed? Who would want to kill a mental patient? So she simply picked up a young boy from the street and groomed him up to be her little killer. She made sure that he knew he was in her debt and then proceeded to ask him to finish off Mair.”

It all fitted in perfectly and suddenly everyone in the courtroom was convinced that Maya Miran was a murderer.

***

It was the day of the verdict. Maya walked down the hall to the courtroom. She had driven home in a daze after Andy’s betrayal. What had gone wrong? Where had she made a mistake? How could her plan, which was her life, ever go wrong?

She just went home and fell asleep on the living room couch. Andy had packed up and left. The idiot. The betraying idiot.

The room was full and every head turned her way as she walked inside. Nadia had done her best to make up for Andy’s folly but now the verdict could be just about anything. Viaan had warned Andy to be cautious with Nadia.

“Answer carefully. She will be out to tear your testimony to pieces.”

Maya’s head had been like lead for so many days, so heavy and always throbbing with pain.

The judge walked in. The thought of bribing had come into her mind but a complete background check had proved that he was not the kind to take bribes. He had been extremely poor and had risen to the top with great hard work. Not the type who was eager to accept money. She might have offered something big to him, something that he couldn’t refuse, but she hadn’t been able to think properly for some days now.

The pain in her head was becoming unbearable.

“You don’t help me with the work in the house.”

“Basswood Amir…”
“I wish you were a nicer child!”

I have to free them…….

She leaned back against the wall as the clear voice of the judge came across the room but she wasn’t even listening.

“Accused Maya Miran is guilty of the murder of her parents and attempted murder of her brother, Mair Miran……”
His voice droned on and on but Maya was almost dying of the splitting pain in her head…

***

She opened her eyes in a hospital. Andy was sitting beside her.

“Maya! You passed out before the judge could complete his verdict.” What was he doing here? What did he want now? Her head was still hurting.

Andy had again chosen his father. His awful father, his strong and powerful father. His mind was in a whirl. Everything, right and wrong, moral and immoral had come together and blended into one. He was awake most of the night. His face was very pale and he looked on the verge of starving. Had he made a good decision?

“Andy, can you do something for me?”
He looked into her eyes and knew what she was going to ask. Her request was written all over her face. For once, Maya Miran did not look impassive.

“Andy, give me your knife. Please!”

“Maya, I can’t. You know I can’t.”

“Andy, I want to die! Give me the knife!” Andy always carried a knife gifted to him by Maya. It made him feel secure not because it was a weapon but because it was a reminder of Maya.

“Why are you talking like this? I can’t let you kill yourself. Never.”

“I want to be free. I don’t care about Mair. I tried to help him but he doesn’t want my help so just give me the knife!”

Andy was sure someone was hammering on his head. The pain was so much. He made one last feeble attempt though his voice was more of a croak.

“Maya, death is painful.”

Her eyes glinted insanely at that. Andy wanted to back off and run. He wanted to call the doctors but all he could do was stare. Stare at her unbearably pained face.
“It is freedom. Death is the ultimate freedom. Imagine a place in which you are not bound to your body. The body only brings pain and misery. You have no idea. I want to go to heaven, Andy. What do you know about death? I have freed people and I know everything. I will tell you.”

***

She looked at the haggard old face. Once so beautiful and attractive. Now wasted. Her mother was busily cleaning something. Mental patient or simply mad. “She’s a mental patient.” Why did he say that? What did he mean? Was that the reason for their quarrels?

Maya had thought that her father was lying when he told her about her mother. It seemed so strange. Too strange to be true.

Her mother still scolded her and probably hated her but now she knew the reason. She was a……

Mental patient! Mental patient! Happy one day and angry another day or for that matter- happy one minute or angry another minute. “Could it be mood swings, daddy?”
To that, he had simply shown her the medicines prescribed by the doctor to her mother. She was mad! He had also told her something else.

“Mental illness runs in your mother’s family. I thought your mother was normal when I first met her. In fact she behaved very normally even after you were born. Occasionally, she did get angry but I tolerated her. The quarrels were short and both of us were always eager to forgive one another.

 All this became frequent over the years. Only then did I think of a doctor. She didn’t want to see one “I am not mad” was her line whenever I asked to go to a psychiatrist on any pretext. Finally, I just told a doctor about her and he confirmed without even looking at her that she was a mental patient. The symptoms were crystal clear.

I started digging into her family history and found several mental cases. For instance, Dana’s grandfather, Basswood Amir was also a mental case. He spent the last years of his life screaming at everyone. I would never have married her if I had known.  She used to get angry at her parents too. She even shouted at them but they always had some excuse for her. ‘She will become responsible someday.’ They could never accept the fact that she may have some mental problem.”

Her poor father. He always suffered, he never complained. His life had been ruined and he still continued to live in misery. All these things made a swirling whirlpool in Maya’s mind. The dark deep waters reaching out and consuming everything within rich, filling her mind with the rich black inkiness of despair. Frustrating her to a point at which she did not know what frustrated her in the first place. Engulfing everything with its tentacles and pulling it into a void where everything became one. From that confusing mishmash emerged Maya’s only goal in life. It was born from the miseries and emptiness of her mind. She only wanted freedom now.

All this was so overwhelming. It was affecting her somewhere, she wasn’t sure where. The way she talked to people, the way she did everything- it was changing the way she looked at the world. It was slowly driving her mad. She was slowly becoming mad.

She fell asleep that night with the strange whirlpool swirling inside her. Her mother was beating her and screaming loudly. “I am a mental patient!” “I am a mental patient!” She abruptly stopped and went inside a room. Maya looked at her tattered clothes. Her flesh was pink where her mother had hit her. This was her life. There was nothing surprising in it.

Her mother came out and she was smiling sweetly at her, the good old Dana. She was beaming and it looked like sun-rays were being reflected on her beautiful face. The dimples were so wonderful, the beautiful hair- her perfect mother. She looked at Maya and gently hugged her. She handed her a beautiful rose. So fresh and new.

Maya woke up. Her mouth was set in a determined line. At last, she had the solution. The magical solution. Why didn’t she think of it before? She smiled. It was a beautiful radiant smile. It had been so long since she had smiled but now things would be alright.

She got out of bed and hurried into the kitchen. The large knife with the shiny blade. She picked it up and went straight to her parent’s room. She opened the door with her permanent smile. Everything was going to be alright. Her mother was in a body which was mad. She would simply free her, make her soul go to heaven where she could always be happy. Her mad body will be left on earth while her beautiful soul floated lightly on the luxuries and blessings of heaven.

Her father was also suffering so much on earth. She would free his cheerful-lively soul and send him to heaven. The pained body would stay on earth while his soul would be happy forever in heaven. Both her parents would be with one another and both would be just like the good old days maybe even happier. Oh, what a brilliant idea!

Both her parents were asleep in bed. They looked a peaceful sight. A doubt crept into her mind. They did look peaceful now then what was the need to send them to heaven if they were looking peaceful? She shook her head. No, it was the calm before a storm. Heaven was ultimate peace, eternal happiness. She walked to her father’s side of the bed and began striking with the knife. Flecks of blood and flesh flew onto her cheeks but she didn’t notice. ‘I have to destroy the body completely so the soul can freely go to heaven.’ The image of her smiling mother with the rose was stuck in her mind as she brought down the knife again and again.

It was done. Her mother had woken up and was staring at her with large sleepy eyes. Again she brought down the knife and the rhythmic slashing started. The knife was speaking. The whole room was alive with the chant. Heaven, heaven, heaven!

 Her mother with the rose. Now she was going to be happy. Dana’s last thought before dissolving into a smooth silk-like blanket of darkness was the sight of her father when he had tied her to a tree and beaten her. The daughter who had once pulled her from the dank pit of death now pushed her into it, as if settling an old score.

There was a sound from the door. Maya turned around to see Mair running away from the door.

“Mair! Wait! Come back.” She had to free him before she herself could be free and join her parents. If he ran away then he would have to live in his wretched body. She ran down the hall towards Mair but he had already gone out.

What could she do now? She returned to her parent’s room and sat down on the bed. A plan quickly formed in her mind. She had to help Mair too before she could be with her parents.

Mair returned after some time with their neighbors. She did not stir from her position. The neighbors came inside the room and were shocked and repulsed to see the bodies. The smell in the room was unbearable. Maya simply sat in her place, not moving and wide-eyed. She was still firmly holding the knife.

A slight woman boldly walked up to her and asked her what was happening. The rest was easy. She told them that she had woken up to hear her mother screaming. She had rushed to her room and saw that Mair was hurting them. She had screamed and begged him to stop but he hadn’t. Mair had told her to hold the knife or else the same thing would happen to her that happened to her parents. He had also been wearing gloves which he took off and then rushed out of the house.

Maya’s plan worked out perfectly. She was doing all this for her brother. She had to free him too. They could both go to their parents at the same time.

Mair was admitted to a mental asylum. Maya was taken in by an aunt who sent her to a boarding school. Maya hardly ever met her. Most of her life was spent at different schools. None of her classmates understood her. She never even attempted to befriend them and was the loneliest girl in the class but she was every teacher’s favourite. The master at painting and sports. The best writer and orator. The only reason for her success was the fact that she did everything with a vengeance, a brute force. She just waited for the day to come when she would complete her mission.

After college, Maya joined a small company. It was hardly a company- poor working condition, a sorry-looking office in one of the seedy parts of the town and drowned in debt. She hit the work with the same vengeance. Her mother holding the rose beckoned to her and she had to hurry.

Everyone was so impressed by her work that she quickly rose to the top. She was the Chief Financial officer! Mr. Kyra, who owned the company immediately liked the quiet hard-working girl. He had no children so he left everything to her in his will before passing away because of a massive heart attack. She was finally made the CEO and had the ownership of the company.

The company grew under Maya over the years. Slowly branching off- spreading out its roots and leaves until it became one of the best known in the country. Now came the part where she had to think of a suitable name. It was an easy job.

“For instance, her grandfather, Basswood Amir was also a mental case.”
That was it. Her company would be called “Basswood Ltd.”
But she still had to complete her mission. Free Mair…

***

Andy felt week all over. What was happening? His world was already so broken. Now, this. Just like shattered glass. The more he tried to clean up, the more his fingers bled.

“Maya, what…?”
She laughed hysterically and suddenly her face clouded over with anger. She was gnashing her teeth.

“I could never get to Mair. He always seemed to getaway. I have had enough! Now I am going and I don’t care if Mair wants heaven or not.”

Andy had never felt like this in his life. He was weak and lonely. Something was happening to him. It was as though all the threads of memory in his head had been rolled and formed into a matted ball from which nothing could be distinguished. He was having trouble keeping his eyes open. Julie kept coming in front of him. Someone was shouting. He forced himself to open his eyes.

Maya held the knife in her hand. When did she take it from him? She looked at the sharp-pointed blade and touched it lightly to her skin. It was smooth and cold. She smiled at him and it was one of the most angelic smiles that he had ever seen. He tried to snatch it back but his arms were weak and they hurt a lot. The effort almost made him black out.

“Give it back….”

Everything was happening in slow motion. She began striking again and again in every direction. She felt pain but knew that her soul was about to be free. Andy so the bright red blood flying in every direction. Her eyes were closing. Freedom….

Epilogue

Small particles of dust danced in the beams of sunlight coming in through the tall windows. He walked down the corridor, the sunlight dappling his body. He had spent so many years of his life here. A large oak door with a brass handle.  That was her room.

A woman was sitting inside on an overstuffed couch. She had a vacant look in her eyes. The whirlpool had finally swallowed her. He walked over to her and put his arm affectionately around her. Mair loved her. He knew now that whatever Maya had done was not her fault.

“Maya, your company is doing well. Everything is working out properly.” He sat down and watched her for a while. It looked like she wasn’t aware of his presence in the room. They both sat quietly for a long time. The sunlight coming in through the window fell on her face. He saw what a sad dejected look it had. A face that had lost all its dreams in a large void. In the depths of darkness. Mair spent some time with her, chatting away although he wasn’t sure if she was listening or for that matter, even understanding.

“I have to go now. I will come again. Andy will be visiting you tomorrow.”

He wasn’t sure if she had heard or not.

“This is for you.”
He handed her a red rose and she immediately became more attentive. She held the rose, twirling it in her hands. Maya had developed such a strong love for roses. He always brought her one when he came to visit her at “We Care”.  That seemed to be her only connection to the world.

Sammy and Mair along with some doctors rushed into Maya’s room when they heard the screams. Such horrible screams. Everyone paused, paralyzed. Maya was lying in a pool of blood and there wasn’t a doubt in anyone’s mind that she was going to die but the smile on her face could have given life to anyone. It was the smile of the soul, regal as ever but with a childish touch, as though she had done something naughty. It was the smile that touched everyone’s heart, like a little rose in a war-field. The doctors were ready to slay dragons to save her.

Andy was screaming loudly. Unfocused dilated eyes. Tears were streaming down his face. The doctors hurried forward and went to work.

Sammy couldn’t bear to watch. Maybe he was responsible for all this. He didn’t want any money. He had only meant to help Mair. He walked out of the room and sat down on a bench. It was all too much. All kinds of things were going on inside his head and he couldn’t understand any…

Mair walked to another room. This was the recreational area. He sighed. It still seemed impossible that he had once been trapped in this asylum. Sammy saw him and smiled. He shook hands with him, he looked relaxed and more handsome than ever. What a change he was! Mair could still remember their conversation on the day Maya had tried to kill herself.

“Mair, you will have to take over the company after Maya. I won’t do it. In fact, I am resigning from my present post.”

“Why? What will you do?”

“You won’t understand. I…I want to lead a more peaceful life. I want to work at ‘We Care’. I am no doctor but I can look after the patients. You know, walk with them, give them company and all that. I need some time with myself to forget…all this.”

Mair’s eyes twinkled and he smiled proudly.

“I understand. You can do whatever you like.”

Things had worked out for everyone. Mair lived a peaceful life. Sometimes visiting Maya, reading and all kinds of classes. Cooking, painting, and music. He was qualified enough to get a good job at Basswood Ltd. Andy had moved in with Mair and Sammy and the three had become great friends.

Andy contended with his new life. Initially, he had been in shock for several months until Mair and Sammy helped him out of it. There was still the undying loyalty for Maya. He was now the CEO of the company and as dedicated as ever. He often visited Maya and loved her more than anyone else. At least he wasn’t guilty anymore…

It was time to go.  Mair walked out into the garden and started his car. The AC was soothing. He reversed and stopped to look at a beautiful rose that had freshly bloomed in one of the flowerbeds. A lone flower in a sea of green leaves. What beautiful color! Such a rich red, blood-red.

***

So there I was, Nadia Daisy. A big attorney making big bucks. I stayed in Goa for a year. The whole Mr. Hamir case blew up after a few weeks. Nobody cared. The police were pleased that a notorious criminal was dead. The people were pleased for God knows what. The mafia chief wanted revenge. He thought that I belonged to a rival gang and killed someone from their group. They killed back. There were a few more killings and then everything stopped. The whole thing was just forgotten.

Still, I was so frightened that I stayed quietly in Goa. Hardly going out and talking to few people. I studied most of the time. I had taken out all the money from my bank but even that got finished after two months. I decided that I would do little jobs for my livelihood. Waitress, salesgirl, and the kind.

My hair had grown and it was waist-length. Snowy white. That’s the color I chose to dye my hair. I looked fitter and healthier- all thanks to no drugs. I was suntanned which was great because I had been quite pale earlier. I decided that a little make-up would surely make me unrecognizable.

My flight back was perfectly normal. The first thing I did after returning was to change my name. Nadia had been my favourite comic book character when I was small and Daisy seemed like a good surname. I cooked up a great story about my parents being on a world tour and created a nice background for myself. Occasionally, some people did think that they had seen me somewhere but I always told them that I hadn’t met them before and refused to see them again. 

It took little time for my career to soar. I had studied a lot during my year-long stay in Goa and it paid off now. I became a famous lawyer within a year and had rich clients.

Maya Miran was the richest among them but I lost the case because of dear brother Andy. Oh yes! In due course of events, I came to know that I was Andy’s sister. I can never really forget how he abandoned me. I waited for him and I was so sure that he would come back but he didn’t. The stationmaster took me to an orphanage where Mama found me. Well, Andy dear will soon meet his sister but that is another story.

He can brace himself now. His past was coming to catch up with him…

About the Author:

Maliha Iqbal is a student and author based in Aligarh. She can be reached at [email protected]