by Mohamed Mohaou

Why were you late, Omar? Remember to be on time. It is 8h15 a.m. now. Never blame the bus for your delay. Sit down correctly. This is the first thing they should have taught you in primary school. Greet everybody before you sit down. No, Omar! Don’t say “hi;” we’re not in America. Take the gum out of your mouth. Why are you so disrespectful? Minus one. Remember rule number one over there that says, “never eat in the classroom.” Where is your homework? What do you mean “I forgot?” Before you go to bed, do all your homework. I have said that countless times! Minus one. I am trying hard to stop you from being the sniffer you are so bent on becoming. Are you sure you want to study, addle-brained lummox? Where is your student’s book? Rule number two says, “bring all your materials.” How often should I repeat that, idiot? What are rules for? To decorate the walls of the classroom. Your father could not afford it. Go to the library and borrow one. Yes, you are right. There is no library in this damn school. Minus one anyway. Bring your books or don’t show me your dirty face again. Sharing! By God, I hate sharing; it kills individuality and creativity in people. Why do you love sharing? This is not a tagine, imbecile. Go to the blackboard! Write the date! Before that, open this damn window I am getting suffocated with so many people in this tiny room. You don’t know what the date is. How the hell did they let you pass to the first year Baccalaureate? Shame on them, or rather shame on you. Don’t stand there rubbing your hands like a goddamn fool headmaster, I hate fools. Speak!  No, don’t! It is 8h 30 now; let’s start with a review. Quiet, everybody! Omar, go to your place and repeat after me: “today is Monday, April 1^st, 2020.” Speak up. Up, I said! Omar, change your place. Take this place in front of my desk. I am trying hard to stop you from being the sniffer you are so bent on becoming. Don’t speak without permission. Rule number three says, “ask for permission to speak.” But I should not worry about that. You are as silent as the dead. O God! It is 8h45now. Time flies. Open your books to page one hundred. Read the question and answer it silently. Shut up! Not clear! Do I have to paint you a picture? Yes, try to conjugate the verb “to be” in the simple present tense. Not in the damn affirmative, Omar. Use the negative form; it is more appropriate. I am not. You are not. We are not. Good! It is better to use the contracted form here. I said, “don’t speak!” Write the answers in your notebook. No notebook, either? You’re really a bloody sniffer. Minus three. Omar, write on a piece of paper instead. Look here, everybody. Our lesson today is ‘Dream Jobs.’ I write some them on the board. Omar, what is your dream job? A doctor or  a pilot. Are you nuts? Be realistic. Say something like a carpenter, a mechanic, a taxi-driver or a street vendor.  No! I am dead sure you will be nothing but a sniffer you are so bent on becoming. Write down these jobs. Never rush to finish your task; you’re going to make a lot of mistakes. See here sniffer with double ‘f.’ It is 8h50 now. It is nearly time to go. Let’s finish the lesson tomorrow. Why didn’t the bell ring? Omar, remember to do your homework. What subject do you have afterwards? French? Try not to mix the two languages in your mind, guys. I don’t want salad heads in my class. Omar, remember rule number one, “never leave the room without permission.” Respect the classroom rules. Minus one again. Bye bye, teacher! Omar, never say this greeting to your teacher. Say “goodbye, Au revoir or simply Adieu;” these greetings are more appropriate and elegant. Ok! there is the bell at last. Bye, everybody. Call the next class?

About the Author:

Mohamed Mahou grew up in the Souss Region in Morocco. He earned his Bachelor degree in English Studies and Master degree in Comparative Studies at Ibn Zohr University in Agadir, Morocco. For twenty years, he has been teaching English in high school. Based on his personal experiences, Mahou writes poems in Tamazight and English. His publications include the following: Ifrgan (Thorns), a collection of Berber Poems, published in 2O12 by the Royal Institute of Amazigh culture in Rabat. “To be Abiku”, “Ahmed Porfakir”; two Poems in English published in the newspaper, The Messenger of Morocco in 1996, Iftasn n Ul (Oceans of Heart), a collection of Berber Poems, published in 2010; and Tamsirdt (the Lesson), a play written in Berber language, published by the Ministry of Culture and Tirra Association in 2015. He published a short story in Adelaide Literary magazine in October, 2020.