Whether People

By Mark Antony Rossi

I’m a veteran working on Veteran’s Day and it’s raining on my head. That’s not a figure of speech. It’s actually raining on my head. Five hours earlier than announced on the weather report. Thanks weather people, you rank right up there with politicians and used cars salesmen. I can’t trust your word.

I expect better. We are told Doppler Radar is a vast improvement over previous systems yet the accuracy doesn’t appear  to be any greater than when I was growing up in Hoboken, NJ in the 1970’s. My finger in the air told me more.

Furthermore, as diversification sweeps the news industry I am now stuck with weather-women who look like runway models. In fact the one in the morning is better looking than the professional model from the same demographic market. And in the interests of equality her reports are just as inaccurate as the men.

The weather industry is practically a guessing factory full of trial balloons built by boy and girl wonders literally throwing dice against the television studio wall.

I can get better weather predictions from Nostradamus’ Prophecies on YouTube.

Perhaps if I were permitted I would link their salaries to the accuracies of their daily announcements. Only then we might read rain reports that reflect reality. Or surely our weather warriors might cash smaller checks. Partly paid with a fair chance of bankruptcy.

I feel the need to rechristen this weather phenomena the whether group. Because whether or not they are right or wrong  they still get paid. But the farmer, the line man, the ditch digger must somehow make a living on faulty information. If you are a salesman you don’t dare knock a door in the rain—moods get sour and you are sent packing.

Like many I am counting on good weather but can’t count on good weather predictions. Once they joked “that’s why it’s called prediction.” Sorry, I’m not laughing since the great majority of working people are expected to produce results (unless you work for the Post Office.) I am expecting the same from these whether people who seem to believe a suit and a smile is all they need. I get that from politicians already and even they have a higher rate of accuracy. Give me weather or give me whether you decided on another line of work.

About the Author: Mark Antony Rossi is a poet, playwright and author of the bioethics volume “Dark Tech” now available from Amazon. His most recent plays have been produced in Liverpool and New York.

One Comment

  1. O K R Sivagnanam says:

    Weather people turning whether people is no laughing matter!
    Everyone waiting to go out on their job relies on the weather report, and if it turns out to be different from what was announced, their plans get completely upset and make them losers in the process!
    Why they became ‘accuracy- killers?’
    Poor broadcasting reflects poorly on the met department that is expected to rely on pure scientific data, and come out with exact reports!

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